Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
