you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
