Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i now understand why vodka
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize