Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
