Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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