So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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