Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
only if we run a train.
done.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
