Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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