So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
