I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
