Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
