An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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