he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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