Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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