Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I understand Curling. That high.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
