I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
