I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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