Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
