I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We have so much sex to catch up on
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
