He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
