That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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