there was a trapeze. enough said
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize