You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His nipple licking is glorious
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