There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
thus making me awesome and them whores
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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