somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
