YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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