u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
