nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
