i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My penis needs a shock collar
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
