I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
