I want to make a zoo with you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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