that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
