just tell him i said nine months
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
