I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
