If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
