Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
