playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
