6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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