Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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