a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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