I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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