GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize