Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize