Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
