He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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