Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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