the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
