Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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