HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
