you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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