i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
