I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize