3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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