I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
