He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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