Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
