wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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